[비즈한국] Every word spoken on the course is ‘Malbanggu.’ Well, except for when you’re declaring a concede, that is. It’s a common joke among golfers. Yet, even as we say that, we constantly fire ‘Malbanggu’ at the competitors we call our ‘playing partners.’ (The term ‘Malbanggu,’ often also called ‘Guchi,’ originated from the Japanese word ‘guchi’ (口, mouth) and has become established as jargon with a unique meaning on Korean golf courses.)
It happened when I hadn't been golfing for very long. I hit my second shot on a par-4 hole, and the ball landed right next to the hole. It was about 50 centimeters away. An older brother I was close with immediately started running his mouth.
“That’s a guaranteed birdie.”, “You could sink that with your eyes closed.”
Once we arrived at the green, the talk became even richer and faster.
“That’s totally in the ‘OK’ range.”, “You know there’s no ‘OK’ for birdie, right?”
My heart started racing. It felt like my heart was moving in and out of my body, much like a ball that hits the cup and bounces out. It was the most nerve-wracking putt of my golfing life. Fortunately, the ball went into the hole. If I had missed that putt, it might have remained a trauma for quite a long time. Seeing as the things I heard before that putt are still vivid today, the ‘Malbanggu’ was certainly effective.
Harvey Penick, the legendary instructor who coached Ben Crenshaw, Tom Kite, Kathy Whitworth, and Mickey Wright, introduces the wittiest ‘needle’ he ever heard in his book ‘Little Red Book’:
“Do you inhale or exhale when you take your backswing?”
In the U.S., poking an opponent with words to make them feel self-conscious is called a ‘needle.’ It is also referred to as trash talk, implying the exchange of rough and mischievous comments. A golfer who hears that question is forced to immediately start thinking. ‘Do I inhale or exhale when I take my backswing?’ Breathing, which one usually doesn't even think about, starts to become a distraction throughout the entire backswing. It’s similar to how, the moment you think you hear a strange noise in your ear, you can’t help but keep hearing that sound. In fact, an acquaintance of mine once pulled the same trick on his playing partners during a round after hearing this story.
Trash talk is also common in other sports. Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley were close friends and fierce competitors. It is said that when Barkley, who won the 1993 NBA regular-season MVP, tried to provoke Jordan, Jordan retorted:
“Charles, you got an MVP and your salary and endorsement deals went up, right? Even so, it’s not even worth the price of my cigar.”
The two constantly provoked each other on the golf course as well. Tiger Woods was also an emperor at shaking his opponents with words. He reportedly provoked Justin Thomas by pointing to his green jacket:
“Do you have one of these? I have five at home.”
Masters winners are required to return their official green jacket to the clubhouse after a certain period, but the point isn't the facts. It is enough to convey the message: “You’ve never done it, and I’ve done it five times.”
In weekend golfers' rounds, ‘Malbanggu’ appears in many forms.
First, there is the ‘worry-inducing type.’
“The right side is a penalty area, so aim to the left.”, “How many meters to that bunker?”, “The left is out-of-bounds, so the penalty area on the right might actually be better.”
This is a way of loudly repeating risk factors that don't need to be mentioned, planting them firmly in the partner’s head. It has the effect of making water, bunkers, and out-of-bounds stakes—which might not have been visible otherwise—suddenly appear in the middle of the teeing area.
There is also the ‘pseudo-comforting type.’
“If it had gone just one more meter, it would’ve been on the green.”, “It cleared the penalty area but hit something and bounced back in.”, “Ah, how did that not go in?”
Is it truly comfort, or is it teasing? The speaker wears an expression of sympathy, but the listener feels the sting even more.
The highest level is, without a doubt, the ‘praise type.’ The most common subject is driving distance.
“You hit it really far.”, “You’ve got 30 meters on me.”, “You can definitely clear that.”
From the moment you hear this, the thought ‘I have to hit it hard’ enters your head. Praise for your swing works the same way.
“Of all the golfers I know, your swing is the smoothest.”
A golfer who hears that will, in the next swing, focus on ‘hitting it smoothly’ instead of just swinging naturally. Softness usually stops being soft the moment you become conscious of it.
Conversely, there is the ‘critical type’ that attacks openly.
“You can’t clear that.”, “Three-putt, OK.”, “I knew you’d do that.”, “You’d be a single-digit handicapper if you could just putt.”, “Your driver is at a single-digit golfer level.”
These kinds of comments linger because they sit on the border between praise and criticism. You can't tell if they mean you're doing well or poorly, but either way, it definitely stays in the mind of the person about to take their next shot. Come to think of it, perhaps every word spoken on the course really is ‘Malbanggu.’
Some say that for close friends, golf wouldn't be fun without this kind of trash talk. The argument is, if you don't exchange mischievous words, what is the point of playing golf? That may be true. If you know each other's boundaries and are in a relationship where you can laugh it off, ‘Malbanggu’ can indeed be part of the fun of a round.
The problem is that not everyone perceives a comment the same way. Some laugh it off, while others get distracted or hurt by even the smallest remark. Moreover, there are people you can never beat in a war of words. There are those who always add one more word and sometimes cross the line without any hesitation.
If you encounter such a golfer, it is better to avoid them rather than fight. If they take the cart, you walk; if they walk, you take the cart. You’re unlikely to win with words anyway. And there is a high probability that such a person will not change for decades to come.
Golf is a game of putting a ball into a hole, but a flurry of words flies around during the round as well. Not being shaken by those words is a skill, and holding back words that might shake an opponent is a matter of etiquette. Just because it’s a place where any word can become ‘Malbanggu,’ it doesn’t mean it’s a place where you can say just anything you want.